skwisklok: (Default)
Body and Appearance
1. Describe the character's height and build. Is he heavyset, thin, short, rangy?
Tall and thin. Not too muscular. He's a spindly swede.

2. How old is he?
Not declared in canon. Somewhere in his twenties to early thirties, probably. I'd put him at 29.

3. Describe his posture. Does he carry himself well or does he slouch?
He has fairly decent posture, that's somewhat complicated by his instrument and choice of music. He often headbangs and hair spins while playing on stage, and he carries his guitar constantly, but he stand straight when just standing around or playing normally.

4. How is his health? Is he fit or out of shape? Any illnesses or conditions? Any physical disabilities?
Rock star. He should be dead, but somehow isn't. He's possibly divine, actually. Drug and alcohol abuse are a factor, though his appetites in those regards aren't as voracious as his band mates. He's allergic to cilantro, by the way.

5. How does he move? Is he clumsy, graceful, tense, fluid?
Not particularly clumsy, though his motion is a bit awkward. He walks normally for a tall guy trying to not catch his instrument on things.

6. How attractive is this character physically? How does he perceive himself in the mirror?
Skwisgaar is the resident lothario of the band. He's certainly attractive, though a portion of that is his status as a celebrity. He has very little trouble meeting women. When he looks himself in the mirror, he sees a handsome man. He also tends to see the pressure of the title of world's greatest guitarist, his own anxieties, etc.

7. Describe his complexion. Dark, light, clear, scarred?
Extremely pale, with a bit of grey pallor.

8. Describe his hair: color, texture, style.
Long hair, to the mid/lower back. Blond, and silky smooth. Almost always worn straight down.

9. What color are his eyes?

10. Does the character have any other noteworthy features?
Eh. Not really.

11. What are his chief tension centers?
He doesn't carry tension in his frame, but transmutes it to enfold into his crippling anxieties.

12. What is the character's wardrobe like? Casual, dressy, utilitarian? Bright colors, pastels, neutrals? Is it varied, or does he have six of the same suit?
Cargo pants or jeans, always black. Black tank top. Always freeballing.

13. Do his clothes fit well? Does he seem comfortable in them?

14. Does he dress the same on the job as he does in his free time? If not, what are the differences?

15. You knew it was coming: Boxers, briefs or commando?
Oh Ja, in Sweden underwear is, you know, the kinky stuff you know, worn as a fetish, Ja, but, you know, de exciting sexual stuff is, ohf, always freeballing.

1. What does this character's voice sound like? High-pitched, deep, hoarse?

2. How does he normally speak? Loud, soft, fast, evenly? Does he talk easily, or does he hesitate?

3. Does the character have a distinct accent or dialect? Any individual quirks of pronunciation? Any, like, you know, verbal tics?
HAH. Skwisgaar speaks English as a second language, and not often with much proficiency. When angered or stressed he oddly does not switch to his native language, he just gets worse with English. 'Yeah' comes out as 'Yah', spelled 'Ja'. Hard TH sounds like 'this', 'that' 'these' are rendered harder as in 'dis', 'dat' and 'dese'. Words that should have an 's' on the end lose them, words that don't have an 's' on the end occasionally gain them. And all of that is normal. When encountering unfamiliar words or complex polysyllables, he gets worse, often mispronouncing them several times in several ways.

4. What language/s does he speak, and with how much fluency?
Swedish, nativly. English... passably.

5. Does he switch languages or dialects in certain situations?
Nope. Always English.

6. Is he a good impromptu speaker, or does he have to think about his words?
Depends on how 'on the spot' he is. In regular conversation he's fine. Addressing a crowd? he's nearly incomprehensible. The word "hovercraft" should not have that many L's.

7. Is he eloquent or inarticulate? Under what circumstances might this change?
INARTICULATE, becoming moreso when stressed... though he can have a poetic eloqquence at times that still struggles to get through his language barriers.

Mental and Emotional
1. How intelligent is this character? Is he book-smart or street-smart?
Neither. He's a moron. He's been babied and coddled by fame. He doesn't know how to feed himself.

2. Does he think on his feet, or does he need time to deliberate?
He can think on his feet... but he rarely ever needs to. Most the time he neither thinks fast nor takes the time to deliberate, that implies he even knows there's something to think about. If he does realize there's a decision to be made, he'll probably get distracted anyway.

3. Describe the character's thought process. Is he more logical, or more intuitive? Idealistic or practical?
None of the above. He doesn't think. when he does, it's often so illogical that it leads to such things as "drink the bleach so the doctors think we're healthy".

4. What kind of education has the character had?
Superiors Skandinavian echutation.

5. What are his areas of expertise? What, if anything, is he interested in learning more about?
His area of expertise is the Guitar. He has no interest outside of that.

6. Is he an introvert or an extrovert?
Extrovert with no acknowledgement of inner feelings

7. Describe the character's temperament. Is he even-tempered or does he have mood swings? Cheerful or melancholy? Laid-back or driven?
Chaotic. Mood swings are common, he's driven in aspects of guitar work but passive almost anywhere else. Usually depressed, though it's a fake sort of show depression caused by his nihistic beliefs and his need to project a brutal image.

8. How does he respond to new people or situations? Is he suspicious, relaxed, timid, enthusiastic?
Depends on the situation. Generally relaxed, sometimes enthusiastic, and often oblivious, even in the face of people who seem genuinely hostile or dishonest.

9. Is he more likely to act, or to react?
More likely to stand there and do nothing.

10. Which is his default: fight or flight?
Up until the end of season two, his default is to stand there and practice scales on his guitar, oblivious to any danger. The season two finale is the first time this changes and he actually fights.

11. Describe the character's sense of humor. Does he appreciate jokes? Puns? Gallows humor? Bathroom humor? Pranks?
He's a moron. His sense of humor is crude, and barely developed. He finds things hilarious even when they shouldn't really be, and misses most jokes, even when they're incredibly obvious.

12. Does the character have any diagnosable mental disorders? If yes, how does he deal with them?
Probably? His mental health is likely no better off than his physical health. He represses everything. He projects his perceived weaknesses on to others. He has HUGE image issues, occasionally crippling anxieties, And a sexual appetite that cannot be considered healthy. And psychologist would have a field day trying to uncover all of his issues, assuming they could ever get him to open up.

13. What moments in this character's life have defined him as a person?
At a young age, walking in on his mother having a threesome with two hairy Swedes.

14. What does he fear?
Losing his position as the best. Being seen as soft. Threats to his masculinity. Failure. Humiliation.

15. What are his hopes or aspirations?
None, really. He is on top of the world, and he want's to stay there. In Vatheon he's a bit miserable, and needs to be seen as the best again. It bugs him that his reputation doesn't extend to multidimensional space.

16. What is something he doesn't want anyone to find out about him?
That he has fears and anxieties at all. That he's maybe not as cold and brutal as he tries to be. That he can care about anybody to any extent.

1. Describe this character's relationship with his parents.
He doesn't know his father, and he hates his mother.

2. Does the character have any siblings? What is/was their relationship like?

3. Are there other blood relatives to whom he is close? Are there ones he can't stand?
None. Well, okay, not really. He has sired literally thousands of children, but due to legal technicalities he is not responsible for any of them and he does not acknowledge them at all.

4. Are there other, unrelated people whom he considers part of his family? What are his relationships with them?
His band is his family, and he refuses to admit that.

5. Who is/was the character's best friend? How did they meet?
His best friend is his band mate Toki Wartooth. They both refuse to admit this, ever.

6. Does he have other close friends?
His bandmates, to varying extents. He won't admit it.

7. Does he make friends easily, or does he have trouble getting along with people?
No. Friends are weakness, and he can't show weakness.

8. Which does he consider more important: family or friends?
Neither, they're both terrible.

9. Is the character single, married, divorced, widowed? Has he been married more than once?
Single, and will always stay that way.

10. Is he currently in a romantic relationship with someone other than a spouse?
Nope, unless you count an unending stream of random women.

11. Who was his first crush? Who is his latest?
I don't think he's ever really had a crush on someone.

12. What does he look for in a romantic partner?
He's just in it for sex, but he is open to anybody, including the elderly and the obese.

13. Does the character have children? Grandchildren? If yes, how does he relate to them? If no, does he want any?
Literally thousands of illegitimate children. To meet and have sex with Skwigelf every woman is required to sign a paternity waiver, legally disavowing the possibility that he is the child's father, even in the face of a potentially positive DNA match. No, he doesn't really relate.

14. Does he have any rivals or enemies?
A Terrorist organization known as "The Revengancers" wants him dead. A shadowy tribunal of secret world masters have their own plans for him and dethklok, though it's shrouded in mystery.

15. What is the character's sexual orientation? Where does he fall on the Kinsey scale?
About a 1.5 -> 2. He's never seen showing any interest in males, ever. He sleeps with women constantly. He's hyperconscious of his feminine looks, and overcompensates at times to appear more masculine, so if he ever had any attraction to a male, he'd suppress it. However... in the episode "dethfashion", when Murderface said he never eats hotdogs because he won't stick anything shaped like a dick into his mouth, Skwisgaar did say "I woulds eat a hot dogs. Just putting it out dere".

16. How does he feel about sex? How important is it to him?
He enjoys sex. he enjoys it too much. It's the only think he really cares about besides guitar.

17. What are his turn-ons? Turn-offs? Weird bedroom habits?
Skwisgaar has almost no limits. It appears at times that he has a preference for the elderly, obese, and mothers, but he's seen with any sort of woman so it could be that this is a side effect of his openness and complete non-descrimination. He is the worlds greatest guitarist, Lead guitar for the worlds most popular musical group. He could have any woman he wants. It could be that he's giving a chance to the women who normally aren't picked up by celebrities for a quick screw.

1. Do you know your character's astrological (zodiac of choice) sign? How well does he fit type?

2. Is this character religious, spiritual, both, or neither? How important are these elements in his life?
He is a nihilist. He doesn't believe in anything. He's also pretty bad at it, and it's mostly seen as a part of his metal image that he has trouble keeping up.

3. Does this character have a personal code of morals or ethics? If so, how did that begin? What would it take to compromise it?
Not really. He has no problem with just about anything, though he doesn't really feel like killing or torturing with his own hands. He's too busy shredding to care.

4. How does he regard beliefs that differ from his? Is he tolerant, intolerant, curious, indifferent?
Intolerant to indifferent, often mocking. However, he's really bad at his own beliefs so he's not very good at knowing when something doesn't match his own. He once believed that there was no such thing as religion. Not 'god', not 'faith', but Religion. when shown a copy of the bible he took it as evidence that maybe his world view is flawed.

5. What prejudices does he hold? Are they irrational or does he have a good reason for them?
He hates the people of Denmark, whom he constantly mistakenly calls the "dutch".

Daily Life
1. What is the character's financial situation? Is he rich, poor, comfortable, in debt?
He is richer than almost any other single person. His band is the twelfth largest economy in the world. In Vatheon everything is free, which is how he expects this to be anyway. He's rich enough that he doesn't have to buy things anymore.

2. What is his social status? Has this changed over time, and if so, how has the change affected him?
He is the lead guitarist for the strongest cultural force on earth. In Vatheon his fame is gone. It's quite hard for him to handle.

3. Where does he live? House, apartment, trailer? Is his home his castle or just a place to crash? What condition is it in? Does he share it with others?
He lived in Mordhouse, a massive fortress complex built for the band and their industrial complex. In Vatheon he's bumming around now that his hotel stay has run out, usually finding a place in the bed of the local women. There's a real danger that he may soon run out of women he hasn't slept with.

4. Besides the basic necessities, what does he spend his money on?
He doesn't. He has servants to spend money for him... if he ever needs to. In Vatheon he's saving up his starfish tokens to get his gear back so he can start really playing again.

5. What does he do for a living? Is he good at it? Does he enjoy it, or would he rather be doing something else?
He plays guitar, and he's literally the best there ever was at it.

6. What are his interests or hobbies? How does he spend his free time?
Playing guitar, having sex.

7. What are his eating habits? Does he skip meals, eat out, drink alcohol, avoid certain foods?
Eat whatever, usually chessy and fat filled. Drugs, Alcohol, yes, though he shows more moderation than anybody else in the band.

Which of the following do you associate with the character, or which is his favorite:

1. Color? Black, Silver
2. Smell? Blood, sweat
3. Time of day? Midnight
4. Season? Winter
5. Book? Uhhh n/a
6. Music? Death Metal
7. Place? Valhalla
8. Substance? Wood
9. Plant? Rosewood, Hard Maple, Mahogany
10. Animal? Hawk

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Jun. 28th, 2013 11:41 am
skwisklok: (Default)
Any questions, complaints, or concerns over my characterization of Skwisgaar? Tell me here! I'm always willing to try and improve. Be detailed, and thanks for your concern.
skwisklok: (Default)
Hallo, Dis ams the voicemails of the, Skwisgaar Skwigelf. Leaves a messaage afters the pinch harmonics.

[A furious guitar riff follows, ending with a screaming overdriven pinch harmonic.]
skwisklok: (Default)

☆ Player - - -

( Player Name ) : Rav-T
( Personal DW ) : N/A
( Age ) : 28
( Timezone ) : EST (UTC-5)
( Other Characters ) :
Kanaya Maryam ( [personal profile] sylphauxiliatrix ) | Homestuck

☆ Character - - -

( Character's Name ) : Skwisgaar Skwigelf
( Character's Age ) : Not declared in canon. late 20's early 30's assumed.
( Series ) : Metalocalypse
( Canon Point ) : End of season 2 finale (episode 19) "Dethrelease" / "Black Fire Upon Us"
( Playability ) : N/A

Disclaimer: I linked to a lot of youtube clips from the show as a way of citing references. The show often includes profanity and excessive violence. I mean, it's on youtube so it's nothing too horrible, and most of the clips I chose don't include the usual concert bloodbaths that the show is infamous for, but I'm sticking this on here anyway.

( History ) :
Skwisgaar Skwigelf was raised and presumably born in a small unnamed town in rural Sweden. His mother is Severta Skwigelf, claimed to be Miss Sweden on 1956. His father is unknown, and a high profile search for his legitimate father later on turned up "several thousand" men who claimed to have sex with his mother during a single month period that was likely for the date of his conception. When the Klokateer agent in charge of the search expressed doubts as to how this was possible, Skwisgaar responded "Uhg, You don't know my moms."[1]

Skwisgaar's home life is not brought up very much in the series. It's implied that they lived in some poverty, and his childhood home is shown to be a rather modest cabin. His hometown is a small village where the predominant industry is logging.

At a unknown but very young age, possibly younger than ten, Skwisgaar walked in on his mother in the middle of a threesome with two presumably local men. This event traumatized the young boy, and he fled into the Swedish wilderness. There he was chased by a pack of wolves until he fell into a crevasse. There he discovered several bodies at the feet of a giant statue of some Nordic deity. In the statue's hand was a guitar: a black Gibson Explorer. It is unclear how this guitar came to be in the cave, and it is implied that it was placed there by "the gods". More about this guitar and its possible mystic connections will be in the Other Important Facts section.

To escape his home life and hatred for his mother, Skwisgaar focused on his new found love of the guitar. It's said that "Her neglect helped form the world's fastest guitarist."[2] Nothing more is known about his history from this point until he joins Dethklok, other than a list of previous bands he had been in: Agnostic Priest, Gangagar, Eldele'el-Alele, Gognog Mug Alugdug, Fuckface Academy, Sausage Assassin, Financially Raped, and Smugly Dismissed are all named, and it's implied that this is little more than a partial list.[3]

After jumping through "Pretty much every bands ever"[3], Skwisgaar landed a spot with Nathan Explosion, Magnus Hammersmith, William Murderface, and Pickles the drummer in the band Dethklok. The band hired Charles Ofdensen to be their manager, and were signed with Crystal Mountain Records.

Sometime early on in the career of Dethklok, Magnus Hammersmith was fired.[4] His replacement on rhythm guitar was Toki Wartooth. Toki and Skwisgaar would find themselves at odds quite often as the band skyrocketed in popularity. Much later on, after the canon point I'm taking Skwisgaar from, Toki would write a book about his troubles as the second class guitarist called "Skwisgaar Is Ams Dick".[5]

Shortly after Toki joins, the band rises to popularity in a way never before achieved by any musician. The members themselves are obscenely rich, and the corporation representing the band is in the first episode called the 12th largest economy in the world and rising. By the fourth season, it would be confirmed as the seventh largest and rising.

Skwisgaar and Dethklok become so powerful and popular that delays in the production of their new album causes economic recession across the globe. Finally they release a new album, recorded in their private submarine in the Marianas trench. The album, Dethwater, is a metal album for the denizens of the ocean. In the words of Skwisgaar, this is because "Fish don't got no good metal to listens to."[6] The album of course instantly goes quintuple platinum, though it is met with some controversy despite its popularity. One fan, on listening to the lyrics "Go into the water, Live there, Die there” decided to do just that, drowning horribly. The parents attempted to sue Dethklok, though the case was dismissed as the album clearly states that it was intended for fish only.[7]

The band decides that they would never play the album live at a show. The music is not for humans, it is for the ocean. It's possible that this decision is actually because of the potential liability concerns. They maintained this position for quite some time, until the lack of performance combined with the lack of any new albums caused fan suicide rates to skyrocket. Faced with fan suicide pacts and other fans dedicating themselves to acts of violence and mayhem, the band agrees to play a show for the new album. When they do so, they are attacked by the forces of General Crozier, a member of a secret tribunal of conspirators that are apparently in control of the world. The general hoped to kill Dethklok to remove their influence and solidify the tribunal’s position. Charles Ofdensen, their manager, managed to keep the band safe, thanks to new security measures that included rocket pod escape vehicles. During their emergency launch, an assassin sent by Crozier managed to send Skwisgaar and Toki's rockets off course, away from the rendezvous. The two guitarists found themselves facing a man hell bent on their deaths. With no real ability to defend themselves, Skwisgaar tells Toki that they will meet again in Valhalla. They are saved at the last moment by Ofdensen, who manages to defeat the assassin in hand to hand combat.[8]

After the blatant attacks in the Gulf of Danzig, which included an army of modern soldiers and multiple air strikes, the band retreats from the public eye. Their fortress home is equipped with a force field defense system. They remain safe at home for some time, forcing the world to endure further economic troubles. Eventually they begin returning to the stage, lured out by the promise that they could use death row inmates however they wanted in their new show.

Dethklok is once again touring, and the world experiences an economic boom from their high production shows. However, a terrorist organization known as the Revengencers arises, led by the assassin that failed in his mission at the Gulf of Danzig. They arrange the death of the head of Dethklok's operations for Australia[10], and begin a campaign of bombing of Duncan hills coffee shops, a brand endorsed by the band.[11] These attacks culminate on the date of the release of Dethklok's newest album. Several members of the release party are killed, and the assassin manages to murder their manager. Skwisgaar goes with Pickles the drummer to protect the master record of the new album, and the two are trapped there by fire and a group of Revengencers. Skwisgaar orders Pickles to stay behind him, and the two manage to defeat their attackers. Skwisgaar physically strikes them with his guitar, remarking afterwards about bow the neck was still straight. The master secured, the two escape their burning home in time to join the rest of their band, looking down on the body of their manager. The final episode of season two ends with Ofdensen receiving a Viking burial, a perk given to all Dethklok employees.[12]

[1]s3e5 "FatherKlok"
[2]s1e6 "Dethfam"
[3]s1e8 "Snakes n' Barrels"
[4]s4e7 "Dethcamp"
[5]s4e5 "Bookklok"
[7]s1e5 "Dethkomedy"
[8]s1e20 "The Metalocalypse Has Begun"
[9]s2e1 "Dethecution"
[10]s2e7 "Dethwedding"
[11]s2e12 "Revengencers"
[12]s2e19 "Dethrelease" / "Black Fire Upon Us"

( Personality ) :

Skwisgaar Skwigelf is a justifiably proud man. His mastery of the guitar is unchallenged my any mere mortal. This has, however, led to some insecurities. He fears that he will someday lose his touch, that someone else will take his place as the world's greatest guitarist. He was found once in his dressing room crying in the face of the pressure; after all the "world's fastest guitarist" isn't allowed to make a mistake. He fears rejection and failure, but he represses these fears in horribly unhealthy ways.

His band mate Toki Wartooth may be the only guitarist in the world able to keep pace with him, and so Toki often becomes the focus of Skwisgaar's fears. Throughout the series he belittles Toki, enough that Toki eventually publishes a book about the years of abuse he endured at Skwisgaar's hands. Though Skwisgaar claims that Toki is no good at the guitar, it's possible that this is just a part of his own insecurities showing through. Toki has on occasion managed to play Skwisgaar's solos, a feat that is even more frightening and enraging to Skwisgaar in the face of the fact that Toki never practices.

Skwisgaar, on the other hand, practices constantly. he's rarely seen without his guitar in hand, and even during business meeting he will be absentmindedly playing speed scales. Like the rest of the band he's quite lazy in many respects, but when it comes to music he has an incredible work ethic.

Skwisgaar is shown quite often as the most promiscuous member of the band, which is saying quite a lot considering the band's voracious appetites in most regards. He is shown to sleep with nearly any woman, with a particular preference for the overweight, the elderly, and mothers. A television expose proposed that his rampant sexual appetite was influenced by his mother, who shows a similar pattern of behavior. However, the Tribunal of shadowy figures who have been tracking dethklok have another explanation: Skwisgaar is not a human, but a demi-god, sired by some Norse deity. His exploits are only natural for a divine being, attempting to spread his holy seed as far and wide as possible. He has been the subject of thousands of paternity suits, though he's never been held as legally responsible for his children. This is because every man, woman, and child who seeks to meet Skwisgaar is required to sign a paternity waiver, legally releasing him from any possible paternity claims even in the face of genetic testing.

Despite his own actions, he is disgusted by his mother's promiscuity. the topic often causes him to shut down, responding to nothing but his guitar which he plays furiously. This has become his usual response to upsetting situations. His ability with the instrument is likely due in part to his constant playing as an escape from the facts of his life.

Like most of the members of the band, Skwisgaar has no relationship with his father. Due to his mother's extremely active love life he has no idea who his father could be. For the most part he treats this like any other problem, bottling it up and ignoring it until the pressure becomes too great. Charles Ofdensen obviously knows that the situation is volatile, and in season three he specifically pushes Skiwsgaar far enough to crack. The timing of this push allowed Skwisgaar to begin a search for his father, rather than having a complete breakdown on stage. In the end Skwisgaar does not find his dad, and he muses about the possibility that he was birthed by the gods. Either way he comes to terms with not knowing his true lineage in a truely character defining moment. Unfortunately... all this character development is after my canon point. It serves as great insight into his personality, but he'll still have his emotional issues regarding his father. Worse yet, he'll have no way to confront or deal with those issues, as these events required him to visit the cave where he first found his guitar, for his mother to remarry, for him to reconcile with his new stepdad... all things that won't be available to him in Vatheon.

Skwisgaar is entirely aware that he is effeminate looking, and like most of his insecurities he projects it as an insult against others. He often insinuates that other members of the band are actually ladies, but reacts violently if the insult is returned.

Like the rest of the band he has an appetite for alcohol and drugs, though not nearly as bad as Pickles or Nathan. He's of the opinion that there is only two things to do in a power blackout: Drink. One thing to do. Still though, he manages some restraint. When he realizes that Toki is drinking straight vodka for breakfast he chides his band mate. "Toki, drinking ain't a contest, you know that."

Skwisgaar is a self avowed nihilist, refusing to believe in anything, though he's often bad at it. When his band mate Murderface was seeking spiritual guidence, Skwisgaar professed that he doesn't believe in religion. Not just god, but religion. On being shown a bible as evidence that there is such thing as religion, he decides that maybe he should reexamine his life.

He has a mostly amicable relationship with Pickles and Nathan. As the three of them are the entirety of the creative force in the band, this is likely because he respects that they actually have musical talent. He shows disdain for Murderface and fellow scandinavian Toki, and a majority of his complains are about their musical skills. He indicates that he often rerecords Murderface's bass parts himself after he leaves the studio. He shows similar distaste for Toki, though while in one episode he suggests killing Murderface just to get rid of him, in the episode prior he responds to the idea of killing Toki with "Oh, I... That's maybes a little too hards for mes to handle."

Throughout the show he becomes closer to Toki, though he has a lot of trouble admitting it. This is a common theme for the members of Dethklok: not only are they terrible at making friends, they are contractually obligated by the band agreement to "Not give a fuck about each other in any way". when Nathan begins dating women seriously instead of just engaging in the standard meaningless rock star sex, Skwisgaar admits that he's actually quite bad at maintaining a relationship. A life spent suppressing his feelings has left him in a terrible position for showing any sort of interest in friendship.

Like the rest of the band, he's obsessed with maintaining a "Metal" image. He prefers things to be "Brutal" and "Metal", though the precise definition of these terms is rather subjective. It's likely that this brutal ideal is a part of insecurities for his masculine image. While never shown as overtly homophobic he is terrified that someone might perceive him as homosexual or effeminate.

Speaking of, Swisgaar is mostly without prejudice except in very certain terms. He hates the Danish, but he constantly gets them confused with the Dutch. At one point he stabs the prince of Denmark in a bandaged wound with a sharpie, claiming that "The dutch are scum".

This isn't his only weak spot as far as general knowledge goes. Even though he lords his "superior European public schooling" over the American members of the band, he's not exactly well educated. When encountering something he doesn't know, he'll often make a wild guess at it. If corrected, he redoubles his position, usually becoming more irritated in the process. This all ties back into his prideful demeanor: he can't stand being proven wrong.

Skwisgaar has a love for the word "Dildo", using is as an adjective or as a degrading noun. He also enjoys the word "Douchebag", influenced by Pickles who uses the term nearly constantly.

While it's never brought up in the show, Skwisgaar is apparently a fan of the Harry Potter series. In an "interview" to promote the show, Skiwsgaar says that besides Dethklok he's involved in two side projects: A Harry Potter tribute band called "10 Points to Gryffindor", as well as a nudist Civil War styled band called "Depantsification Proclamation."

( Strengths/Weaknesses ) :

Strengths: First and foremost, Skwisgaar is a guitar god. He specializes in speed scales and melodic solos, and is capable of licks that are too fast for anybody else on earth to play. Of particular note is that his speed is backed up by how clean he frets. Most musicians, when attempting to play as quickly as possible, are not able to play every note so perfectly
Skwisgaar is ambidextrous, a possible side effect of a lifetime spent honing his hands into tools of rock. He's shown at times to play the guitar left-handed, which would require a great deal of understanding of the instrument. It's likely that he practiced this way as a personal challenge, honing his musical abilities with an artificial handicap.

He's also an accomplished songwriter and composer, usually writing the band's bass, rhythm and lead parts. Together with Nathan and Pickles Skwisgaar represents the creative core of the band.

Weaknesses:Skwisgaar is shown to be almost useless at any task outside his extremely specific sphere of knowledge. He can't read traditional musical notation. After the mutilation of the band's chef he is shown trying to shove a coffee filter filled with grounds into a toaster. Success has left him so babied that he refers to a supermarket as "This is I belives called a food library". Without Ofdensen, the Klokateers, and other benefits of his fame, he's almost a useless human being. In the season one finale it's apparent that he can't even fight to save his own life, though the season two finale suggests that he's at least gained some will to do so as he fought off three attackers with his guitar. Later, when he is searching for his father (after the canon point I've chosen), he leaves the band to become a "regular jackoff", and is shown working as a lumberjack. It's apparent that after the end of season two he's at least able to learn how to live on his own, as he's seen operating a forklift and engaging in an actual relationship with a woman instead of his usual meaningless one night stands.

Skwisgaar knows English as a second language. Sometimes he's quite fine with it, but he often makes mistakes. Most commonly this is shown by adding an 's' on the end of words that don't have one, and dropping the 's' from those that do. When stressed he becomes even harder to understand, suffering from noun-verb disagreement and a complete breakdown of proper syntax. More technical and longer English words that he hears are often repeated back. Usually the words are mangled beyond comprehension. Notably, he does not fall back on Swedish language, even when stressed; his English just becomes worse.

As a final weakness: He is extremely allergic to cilantro. His hands and face swell to a severe degree, though he has not suffer from anaphylaxis. The reaction did prevent him from playing his instrument properly as the angioedemic swelling ruined his fingers.

( Other Important Facts ) :
Skwisgaar is never without his Gibson Explorer guitar. He's said before that his guitar is equipped with EMG 81 and 85 pickups, which are non-standard in that model. It's not uncommon for a musician of Skwisgaar's caliber to customize their instruments like that, but it's unclear if the pickups are there by personal choice. He first found the guitar in a cave in Sweden. It's possible that the pickups were already installed. It's also possible that this particular guitar was given to Skwisgaar by the gods. It goes through an incredible amount of punishment in the course of the series, including things that would easily destroy any normal guitar. He's seen playing it nearly constantly, including in a hot tub. It's been exposed to radiation, salt water, freezing temperatures, jungle humidity, and it was used as a weapon, and never in the course of the show has it appeared damaged or in need of any sort of repairs. In fact, I can't say for certain that it's ever shown being tuned. Such a feat is impossible for any instrument made by mortal... though there is one possible mundane explanation. Dethklok has endorsement deals with many instrument manufacturers, including Krank amplifiers, Line 8 effects pedals, and of course, Gibson Guitars. As a part of these deals, if the band destroys their free gear, the companies will send them more. It may be that Skwisgaar has been replacing his guitar constantly through the show. This still wouldn't explain why any given incident doesn't render that particular instrument unusable though.
In game, I would just avoid the topic altogether. He'll use and abuse his guitar as usual. Is it magic and indestructible, or is he just buying new ones all the time at the nostalgia nook? I prefer to leave it as unexplained as the show does.

( Sample ) :

Skwisgaar was pissed. Vatheon is dildos in just about every possible way. He found a shop that sold musical instruments, but they didn't even carry a basic practice amp. Nothing but grandpas guitars. After spending a hour trying to get a local to understand his problem, he was pointed in the direction of the Nostalgia Nook. He found a place there that had exactly what he needed: Krankenstein 4x4 amp cabinets. Krank heads. Even a "Dimebag Darrel" signature model Dunlop crybaby pedal... and it all cost 'starfish tokens'. The merchant refused to give him any of it without pay, even after he patiently explained his endorsement deal. Normally, any time he wore out his Digitech Whammy pedal or any other piece of his rig, the companies would send him a free replacement. For years Skwisgaar was rich enough that he didn't have to buy things.

Here though, he had a handful of tokens. Not even enough to buy a patch cable, let alone any of the electronics he normally uses. At least he arrived with his guitar, but how would he get the rest of his equipment? He's only got one marketable skill... He might only have an unplugged electric guitar, but busking seems like his only option until he can get enough tokens to purchase an amplifier.

Thus Skwisgaar Skwigelf, fastest guitarist alive, lead guitar for the most popular band and largest cultural force on the planet could be found playing his guitar in the plaza with an old tin up in front of him, begging for some spare change.

Put some money in the f♬king cup, douchebag.

Other samples include:
- Test drive thread with Artemis from Sailor Moon
- Test drive thread with Sufferer from Homestuck

( Questions? Comments? Concerns? ) :
In the show, certain swears (usually just "fuck" and "shit") are censored out with a guitar pinch harmonic effect. I like the idea of using "f♬k" or similar when he speaks aloud.
skwisklok: (Default)
♩ = 9833
♪ = 9834
♫ = 9835
♬ = 9836
♭ = 9837
♮ = 9838
♯ = 9839